I will never tell Trump supporters to “get over it,” and here’s why.

Liminal dispatch, 11.07.20

In order for pain of any kind to dissipate and transform, it has to be witnessed.

Our culture tends to promote the opposite: deny it, push it down, suck it up, pretend it’s not there, project it onto someone else, numb it, drown it out.

When someone is enraged, underneath that is pain.
When someone is caught up in delusion, underneath that is pain.
When someone is posturing or bullying, underneath that is pain.
When someone is making impassioned claims of persecution, even when it is objectively nonexistent, underneath that is pain.
When someone pines for long-gone days, underneath that is pain.

You cannot talk people out of their pain, and you certainly can’t ridicule them out of it. (It needs to be said: This includes yourself.)

Whether or not others’ suffering makes sense to you is immaterial. Whether or not you think it is logical or reasonable is immaterial. Whether you think it’s right or wrong is immaterial. Whether or not you share it is immaterial.

However pain is brought into our lives — whether by some brutal outside force, or by our own terrible imaginings, or…